


Pesky

by yeaka



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Ficlet, M/M, Mpreg, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor Dwalin has so many brothers and brothers-in-law on his case. Poor Thorin has to hear about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pesky

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fill for anon’s “I love all those fics in which Dori/Nori/Balin don't approve of Dwalin and Ori being together but you know what I'd love to see? Dori, Nori and Balin being 100% approving and supportive of their brothers getting together. Dori and Nori are all 'Great! Ori will be protected and taught how to defend himself, he'll be more confident and hey, Dwalin is the King's guard, he's really respected!' while Balin is like 'Ori's smart and sensitive and will stop Dwalin from diving into situations head first. He's a respected scribe and can force Dwalin to finally wear clothes without holes in them!' Basically, they're supportive - maybe embarrassingly so. They start talking about marriage and kids (whether mpreg or adoption) while Ori and Dwalin just blush and try to hush them.Everyone else (Thorin, esp on Dwalin's behalf) finds this fucking hilarious.” prompt on [The Hobbit Kink Meme](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/11476.html?thread=23741652#t23741652). Also because lupocure wanted Dwori for my 800th fic. ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own The Hobbit or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Thorin spends an inordinate amount of time in his throne and never regrets it, though he will admit that visitors make that time more enjoyable. Dwalin is the one that spends the most time at his side, sometimes as an honourary guard and sometimes simply out of friendship—just because Thorin is now a king and Dwalin is married doesn’t mean they can’t still spend time together. As of late, they’ve had more to discuss than usual, though Dwalin isn’t so much discussing as venting. 

He’s been pacing back and forth in front of Thorin’s throne for the better part of an hour, spluttering over the various fawning of his and Ori’s brothers. He doesn’t seem to realize that the only reason Thorin hasn’t joined in with the congratulatory clamour is that before he could, Dwalin broke into these complaints. But, as he interrupts to point out, “Isn’t it a _good_ thing that your brothers are so supportive?” Dwalin stops his pace immediately, looking at Thorin agape, as though he would never suggest such a thing if he’d actually been listening. Fighting to hide his amusement, Thorin gently adds, “Balin makes some valid points. You _are_ headstrong, and perhaps you could use someone smart and sensitive to reel you in on occasion. I’m sure that isn’t why you chose Ori, but you must admit it’s a pleasant bonus. And maybe it is high time you had a domestic partner, mending your old things so you don’t show up here in clothes with holes in them.”

Dwalin blinks at him, then groans, “Not you, too! You’ve been talking to Balin.”

“You told me all these things,” Thorin replies, trying not to chuckle. “I’m simply validating them. And you’re my cousin, too.”

“That’s not the worst of it,” Dwalin grumbles, shaking his head and looking ready to start pacing again, as though his boots have scraped permanent grooves into the stone and now he can’t get out of the track. “I caught Dori and Nori excitedly chirping earlier about how I can protect Ori and teach him to defend himself and all that, and Nori even made mention of my being in the king’s guard and well respected for it, as though they weren’t as much a part of the quest as I was!”

“They were a part of it, yes,” Thorin agrees, “but it’s true that few are as close to their king as you are. And if I recall, you were indeed very protective of a certain scribe on that quest. They’re all good points, my friend. Accept it: you’re a catch.”

“But that’s just it!” Dwalin bursts, throwing his arms wide open. “Those are all expectations! I’d already never forgive myself if something happened to Ori, but now I’m considered responsible for his well being by his family? I married Ori for the dwarf he is, not the warrior I could make him into!”

Thorin just shakes his head. In a way, it’s strange to see Dwalin, who’s normally so sure and steadfast, so anxious as this. But then, matters of the heart can often pierce armour where steel never could. 

As Dwalin begins to ring his hands, apparently tired of abusing Thorin’s floor, Thorin prods, “This can’t really be the whole reason you’re so nervous.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Dwalin grunts, which is fair but still not enough. 

After a lingering look from Thorin, Dwalin sighs, “Alright.” Then he shifts uncomfortably, squaring his shoulders. He takes a step closer, looking around despite the hall being completely empty, before he mutters in a conspirator’s whisper, “Dori and Nori came to tell me about... about Ori’s _change_.”

When no further explanation comes, Thorin asks dully, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know,” Dwalin hisses, “the _change._.”

Thorin doesn’t know at all. But Dwalin makes it sound like this huge secret, like Ori was born an elf and a wizard transfigured him into a dwarf or something. 

Perhaps it’s clear on Thorin’s face how clueless he is, because Dwalin gives him an exasperated look and admits fervently, “They told me about _Ori’s vagina._ ”

Before Thorin can stop himself, he’s blurted dazedly, “Ori has a vagina?” Coughing, he says, “I didn’t need to know that.” Another pause, and then: “Wait, wouldn’t you already know that?”

“Of course I knew that!” Dwalin huffs.

“That’s a strange thing to tell someone about someone else.”

“They wanted me to know that... that Ori’s... you know... _fertile_.” Dwalin looks strained as he says it, and it still takes a moment for Thorin to understand.

Then he says, “Oh.”

“Yes. So now, on top of being expected to have nicely tailored clothes and being responsible for Ori’s confidence and safety and social standing, I’m apparently also responsible for getting Ori pregnant.”

Thorin snorts. His whole body moves with the muffled laughter, and he has to fight to keep his face straight. His amusement isn’t lost on Dwalin, who flushes and glares at him, which just goes to show how troubling Dwalin must find this all—it’s a very rare thing for him to openly challenge his king, cousin and friend or no.

He practically growls, “This is no laughing matter.”

“I can’t help it,” Thorin replies easily. “It’s just so ridiculous that you’re freaking out over this. Didn’t you want a child? We’ve spoken of it enough over the years. Isn’t it wonderful, that you happen to find a partner you love who can give that to you?”

“Yes,” Dwalin splutters, now waving his arms, “but that’s not for the whole mountain to know!”

“Not the whole mountain, just all your brothers and maybe anyone those brothers talk to.” Thorin smiles innocently, knowing that, while Balin might be able to keep a secret, Dori and Nori certainly can’t. And if Nori tells Bofur, they might as well just announce it to all of Erebor, who, Thorin’s sure, will be very much in favour of a new addition to their limited race. 

Dwalin doesn’t look nearly so optimistic. He groans, rubbing a nervous hand back over his bald head, and then he sinks down to his knees. 

Barely a second later, footsteps echo down the hall. Thorin turns, not particularly surprised to see Ori coming up the way, in his usual knitwear and his hands held nervously up by his face. As soon as he reaches them, he gives Thorin a polite half-bow, even though Thorin’s never expected any formality out of those in his party. Dwalin usually does the same. 

Almost breathless, Ori asks, “May I borrow Dwalin?”

Thorin says, “Go ahead,” with as straight a face as he can manage. In reality, Dwalin is more Ori’s than his, anyway.

Dwalin looks up from the floor, wearily asking, “What is it? Has Balin been harassing you to ‘fix’ me?”

“No, but he has made several comments about carrying on your line,” Ori mumbles, his cheeks turning red around his freckles. “As I don’t expect you’re the type to brag about your exploits, I imagine Nori’s been talking to him.” And Dori, likely, but Thorin doesn’t mention that—perhaps Dwalin unfairly lumped them together. Dori, after all, seems much too proper to divulge such personal matters, but Nori has no filter whatsoever. Either way, Ori seems to have decided that Thorin already knows. Dwalin stays on the floor looking glumly apologetic, and Ori throws in, “But it isn’t just Balin; Dori keeps asking when I’ll be expecting.” By now, Ori’s face is completely red, clashing violently with his hair, and he sighs, “I suppose we really had better just get on with it before our families wind up throwing us a conception party or something. ...No offense, Thorin.”

“None taken,” Thorin laughs. “Good luck.”

Sheepishly, Ori says, “Thank you.” Then he takes the few steps over to Dwalin, wrapping around his arm and tugging him up to his feet. Dwalin has a vaguely sullen look on his features. 

But seeing Ori seems to lighten it, and by the time he’s upright, he says, “ _Fine_ ,” and joins in. He picks Ori right up and throws the smaller dwarf over his shoulder, eliciting a delighted squeak, and then they’re headed off down the path, finally leaving Thorin in peace. 

...Until little ones arrive, anyway.


End file.
